Earthquake in Taiwan

Due to this earthquake in Taiwan, some under water cables were damaged, and thus internet connections in some countries, including Indonesia, were disrupted.

As for Speedy, the guy said that the only connections still working were to local servers. Bad news; I mostly use Yahoo, Blogger, Gmail, Hotmail. For me, it’s just the same as if the internet was totally not working.

Geez, three days without internet, and I already feel isolated from the world. Can you imagine: Nobody can get in touch with you through emails; No chatting bout those not-important-things in YM; No blogging, no way of communicating your thoughts to friends; No checking on what’s new on the news; no looking up the dictionary what the true definition of ‘archway’ is.

I wonder; how come it becomes so critical for me to communicate through internet.
Guess because most people that can understand me well are located kilometers or even thousands of kilometers away.

I just uploaded some of my pics in this website.
Not quite finished yet. Hope you like it.

At last but not least, Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate it.

.....zzz...zzz....so sleepy....I had too much picasa today...

Frodo and Sam

I just watched The Lord of the Ring: The Return of the King. I still consider The Lord of the Ring trilogy as the best movies I’ve watched so far. Love the story, love the book, love the movies, what a brilliant author, and a brilliant director too.

--------

At the end, the ring was destroyed. The long journey of Frodo and Sam has ended. Frodo fainted on a piece of rock at Mount Doom, and after a long while, he finally woke up safe and sound in Gondor. First, he saw Gandalf, then Mary and Pippins, then Gimli, Legolas, Aragorn… and Sam.

Sam looked back at him and smiled. For a moment, they looked at each other; no words were uttered, for their eyes already spoke a thousand words.

The news of their success might spread quickly across Middle Earth, along with every detail of their journey. But no one, no one except Sam could ever understand how it really was for Frodo. Sam was always there beside him through the ups and downs of their journey. Sam was there when he was at the lowest points of his life; when he was very weak, when he could not resist the evil power of the ring, when he himself could not have control on what he’s doing. And still Sam stayed behind his back, supported him and cared for him, unconditionally.

For me, the most outstanding hero in The Lord of the Ring is Samwise Gamgee.

Lagi tergila-gila sama lagu ini:

Aku ‘kan menjadi malam-malammu
‘Kan menjadi mimpi-mimpimu
Dan selimuti hatimu yang beku
Aku ‘kan menjadi bintang-bintangmu
‘Kan s’lalu menyinarimu
Dan menghapus rasa rindumu yang pilu

Reff:
Aku bisa untuk menjadi
Apa yang kau minta
Untuk menjadi apa yang kau impikan
Tapi ku tak bisa menjadi dirinya

Aku ‘kan menjadi embun pagimu
Yang ‘kan menyejukkan jiwamu
Dan ‘kan membasuh hatimu yang layu

Kembali ke: Reff

Tinggalkan sejenak lalumu
Beri sedikit waktu kepadaku
‘Tuk meyakinkanmu uuhh… uuuuu…

Aku ‘kan menjadi malam-malammu
‘Kan menjadi mimpi-mimpimu
Dan selimuti hatimu, selimuti hatimu
Selimuti hatimu… selimuti hatimu
Selimuti hatimu… selimuti hatimu
Selimuti hatimu… selimuti hatimu

Selimut Hati - Dewa

Congratulation

My heartiest congratulation to this girl, who recently launched her newest project ;)
www.ikat-agentur.com

It turned out, that she actually finished two projects at the same time :P
www.ikat-sprachenwerkstatt.de

Her other works:
www.wahyupb.com
www.weddingku.com (when she was working in the company 3 years ago)

You go, girl! :)

Baca Catatan Pinggir di Majalah Tempo, found it quite inspiring.
Versi online nya ada di sini.

beberapa kutipan:

...Yang berubah ketika kita sadar akan hal itu ialah tatapan dan gerak kita di dunia. Kita tak lagi maju dengan bergegas ke depan, tak sabar merengkuh dan menaklukkan dunia. Dengan menyadari bagaimana ketiadaan atau maut berada dalam inti hidup, kita akan menyentuh dengan mesra apa yang langsung hadir di bawah kaki.

...Syahdan, dalam posisi bertapa yang habis-habisan, sehingga tubuhnya nyaris rusak, Sang Buddha mendengarkan nyanyian ini:
„Dawai yang terentang terlampau tegang akan putus, dan musik akan mati
Dawai yang terentang kendur akan hilang bunyi, dan musik akan mati“

Gautama, oleh Goenawan Mohammad
Catatan pinggir Tempo Edisi. 20 - 26 November 2006

p.s. lebih baik baca tulisan lengkapnya…

From Princess Diaries

Iseng, quote dari film Princess Diaries:

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all. From now on you'll be traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey."

Nephew

Hey... I'm officially an Aunt.
His name is Alif, uni Yona's first child.
Born today, 02.11.2006, in Duri, 50 cm, 3.6 kg.
Another Scorpio in the family, besides his Mom and me.
Considering our ages, I will be called Tante, and Kak Netta will be called Mak Tuo :P

Quotes

Yangti : “Eh, apa kabar? Sudah anu…?”
Me : “iya Yangti, sudah selesai sekolahnya.”
Yangti : “ Ha??? Emm… Sudah atau datang sendiri?
Me : “Oh, belom Yangti. Belom menikah…”
Eyang Putri (Ibunya Om Sony), old woman with Alzheimer, on Lebaran day.

“kalo cari calon suami cari yang gaya dong, yang penampilannya tegap dan tegas gitu lho… jangan yang lembek lesu layu… Inget baik2 yah Indri pesen Om, itu penting lho. Tambahin tuh di list kriteria…”
Dad’s friend and ex-Boss, who’s known me since I was less than 6, on how to choose a guy.

“Halo Ena, gimana nih kabarnya di Jakarta? Gimana proyek cari jodohnya, udah berhasil belom?“
A friend in Hamburg, in a Friendster’s message.

Aaaarrrghh...

Lebaran...

Lebaran…
Minal Aidin Wal Faizin
Maaf lahir bathin…

Lebaran lagi di rumah setelah 3 tahun.
Seneng sih, rasanya jauh lebih berkesan dari pada lebaran sendirian.
Seneng ngumpul bareng Ayah, Ibu, Kak Netta. Sholat Ied bareng, maaf2an terus makan ketupat, bebek cabe ijo, dll

Semakin menyadari betapa aku tuh ga suka ama yang namanya musti berbasa-basi pas acara kunjungan keluarga. I mean, keluarga yang deket2 sih tentunya ok, kein Problem. Tapi kalo udah sodara-sodara yang jauh dan sama sekali ga deket, duh rasanya bingung deh; Harus ngomong apa? It’s a torture!

In a visit to a distant relative, I told my sis about this and she said, „don’t u realize, everybody in this room actually feels the same way as you do.“
Hehe… I sound so skeptical ya. Pdhal ini kan saatnya bersosialisasi lagi ama sodara2 setelah 3 tahun. Don’t know, don’t care.

Wish upon a star

“When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are
When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true…”
Pinocchio kneeled on the windowsill; he looked to the night sky, stared at the brightest star, and made his wish…

I love looking to night sky. Such a dark and wide space it is, it always makes me feel small and meaningless.

Hey night sky, is this darkness for real? Looking at you I couldn’t help feeling lost and clueless. How I wish I can explore you. Discover the unknowns, find ways through the uncertainties, and reveal your secrets. So, where are the little stars and bright-coloured moon?

Come on now…
It is not the time to think about guy, boyfriend, romantic things…
etc etc…
Focus on job search…
Oh I wish… really wish...

Hmm… I guess this is the effect of listening to John Legend – Ordinary People
Kak Netta’s favorite too.
Btw, asik kali ya kalo punya cowo yang bisa main piano :P
Ga penting banget ya…

Kalo diinget-inget pertemuan2 kita, selalu loncat2 ya…
You stayed in Hamburg for a year, then moved to Duisburg…
After a few months, we had a trip to Düsseldorf and we visited you and your new city.
Well, you were right, your new city was bleak and gloomy.
Met you the night before I went to LU for my interview.
Then three months later we went to Schwarzwald and Bodensee.
Quoting your saying, we ate black forest at the Black Forest.
We met again the night after you had finished your thesis presentation, just for a few hours. Salmon pizza from Smiley. Your treat.
You visited us in Hamburg a few days after New Year 2006.
Had some talk about life, future, soul mate, husband, marriage. All those scary topics.
Then you went to Indonesia.

After another period of time, we met again tonight. So happy to see you again, Olin :) All the best for your future plans... :*

• I listen to Bedrich Smetana quite often these days, nice musical piece. Reminds me so much about Europe, especially about Vltava River, about Czech.
• I saw Franz Kafka’s book at home. Reminds me more about Czech. Shit.
• I’ve finished reading can you keep a secret, Sophie Kinsella. Don’t like it. Too much bullshit.
• I can hardly believe the author wrote that Emma cries every time she hears the carpenters – close to you. What a coincidence.

Des'ree - You gotta be

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted
Don't be ashamed to cry

You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Herald what your mother said
Reading the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view
My oh my, heh, hey

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Don't ask no questions, it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning
You can't stop it, if you try to
This time it's danger staring you in the face

Remember
Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
My oh my heh, hey, hey

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

That was one of the sweetest things a guy has ever done to me.
Thank you very very much. I won’t forget it. You also have put a color to my life in Germany. And you are very correct. Let’s forget the past, focuses on today – the present, to make a better future.

You take care there, and good luck. May God bless you always…

So many things to do, in so little time

So many things to do, in so little time.
It's good. I don't have the chance to feel melancholic at all.
Happy, excited, nervous, scared, sad, all in one.
Life's been a bit like a roller coaster lately, especially in Prague. It was an experience with a lot of lessons and messages. I hope I didn't miss any of them.
Isn't life like that? The path has been written for you... long before you walk on it, without you having any clue at all about it.
Perhaps all we can do is to make the best out of any moment that is given to us.

It will be a new adventure for me.
At the beginning, Hamburg and Ludwigshafen felt like strange and unfriendly places too.
I really hope that very soon home will feel like home again...

I’m pissed off…

Friendship is about giving.
I should never expect anything from a best friend.

I know that, and am trying hard to keep that in mind.
But nevertheless it hurts a bit…

Two weeks to go...

Pagi-pagi, Ayah telepon...

You erased my doubts... made me feel that I'm not alone in this...
love you Dad... Let's have a looong talk when I'm back...

Ga bisa tidur... Ich habe zu viel im Kopf... :(

Kenny Loggins - Heart to heart

been listening to this song for the last few days...over and over again. Love it! Love the rhythm!

lyrics from the chorus:

Darlin'
Tell me the truth
Don't turn away
This is our one last chance
To touch each others hearts
Does anything last forever?
I don't know
But maybe we're near the end
So darlin' oh how can we go on together
Now that we've grown apart
Well the only way to start
Is heart to heart

Oh I miss being in love :)

Finally...

Alhamdulillah, akhirnya selesai juga…

Many many thanks to everyone for the wishes and support… It matters a lot to me…
More importantly, to my friends who are dealing with their DA and SA, my best wishes to you guys. Keep the spirit high, you’re almost there!

Winning 3rd place

Deutschland won!
And the euphoria is back!!
Don’t know whether I am being subjective or not, but they played really well tonight!!
Kahn, one of my favourites in the team ;-)… he played again for the last time, and also as the captain because Ballack is injured.
Other very good players: Lahm, Podolski, Schweinsteiger, Frings… many many more…

Oh, I am looking forward to the final tomorrow…!!!
Go Zidane! Hope that you’ll put a wonderful and unforgettable last show!!!

Watched the game at Goeschen. Went to Harburg Rathaus to catch 142 bus. So crowded, everything is quite the contrary of few days ago on Tuesday. I feel like smiling all the time… :-)

-------------------------------

And, a very important lesson learned today… Just before the game started.
No matter how bored or lonely or stressed I am… do not ever call/message/email anyone hoping that he/she will comfort me or make me feel better. It won't solve the problem anyway and being impulsive often causes problems, thus I should avoid it. It's better to deal with it myself. Ah, I was being foolish. I knew this since long ago, and keep on forgetting about it.

Very simple example
Waiting for the bus, still 5-10 minutes to go. Lonely. Instead of calling someone (considered to be a close friend) who turns out to be not in the mood of talking with you, better do something else, such as:
- Listen to mp3
- Read Bridget Jones’ diary
- Take picture of a poster showing Italian football players in underwear with the camera in my mobile.
Those above mentioned options for sure won’t left you feel disappointed nor hurt.

Malam sabtu. capek. tepar.
Abis sommer fest. engga berkesan.

6 days before the presentation, and my slides are far from ready.

been working inefficiently in the last few days.

really hope that I can get back the motivation and spirit to work on it, just like on the last 2 weeks before thesis' deadline.

Just a little bit more, almost.... almost there...

so ist das...

Tja... Jerman kalah di semifinal. Yah, mo gimana lagi... Menurutku, both teams played well, but Italy deserved to win the match tonight.

Es ist ok, Jungs... Es gibt immer nächstes Mal... Ihr habt sehr gut gespielt und Wir sind sehr stolz auf euch. Anyway, the teams consists of many young players... they have big chances to improve themselves... Podolsky, Lahm, Schweinsteiger...

Untungnya aku udah ke St. Pauli pas pertandingan sebelumnya (vs. Argentina), di mana Jerman menang. Jadi sempet tau kira2 gimana suasananya pas mereka menang.
And this time, it was totally different. The night was silent. Tidak ada klakson2, tidak ada petasan2... Naik bus pulang dari rumah Novi... wah orang2 satu bus mukanya kok sendu dan ditekuk semua, termasuk si supir bus... kasian banget...

As for me, I am now supporting Zidane 100%.

mmm... pengen posting tapi ga tau mau posting apaan...
World cup... seneng Brazil is out, and Zidane was amazing in the last two matches... Love him :x
Pembelot ya, pdhal sblmnya belain Brazil. Abis dipikir2 kok bosen, masa Brazil mulu yang diunggulin... Ga seru ah...
Jerman menang lawan Argentina... yah... Jerman lumayan hoki juga kali ya... Tau deh.. abisnya Argentina sptnya maennya bagus. seneng juga, Jerman masih lanjut. That means the euphoria in this country will still continue. I hope they'll reach final.
Italy... posters of some Italian players in D&G are at all bus stops... ;) That's all I can remember about the team right now...

Called home. My Dad is supporting Germany now. Before he is a fan of both Brazil and Germany.
"I've been a fan of Brazil since I was a kid," he told me. Well, no wonder he is such a faithful fan of the team.
"Yes, I heard about it, Beckenbauer recently got married... Tell me, how's the atmosphere there when Germany won last friday..." My mom said. She's giving attention to other aspects of the tournament...
And my sister: "No, Nyie... I don't watch the games, and I'm not following the news about world cup. I don't really like it..."
Hey, sis.. how come? We used to watch world cup together back then in 1998...
Wah, kangen deh ama mereka semua... :x

Temen seapartment-ku dan cowonya hari ini baek deh...
pagi2 dibeliin croissant for my breakfast... (they know how I hate the hard German bread)
malemnya dimasakkin chilli con carne special pake beef karena tau aku ga makan pork...
terharu ga si... setelah sebelumnya complain panjang lebar tentang betapa mesra (dan juga hot) mereka di depan aku...

hihi... sekali lagi diingetin betapa aku ga boleh cepet2 judge orang based on hal2 yang hanya terlihat di permukaan :P
or put it in another way... sekali lagi terbukti betapa mudahnya membuat aku luluh melalui makanan... hahaha

My own world cup note

I am not a big soccer fan. However, world cup always catches my attention, and I am normally dragged into the excitement.

In 1998, I watched world cup at my parents’ house in Sukaluyu with my sister and cousin while I was waiting for the result of UMPTN to come out. In 2002, I watched world cup in my room in Dago with my friends and boyfriend, after deciding of staying for another semester in university to ‘pay’ for the failures I made the year before in my study.

And now 2006, I am going to watch world cup here in Germany, where the world cup is really taking place…can’t afford the ticket, unfortunately =), and not much spare time to waste in front of TV due to my thesis’ deadline…

But I am happy, and I hope I can enjoy it as much as possible. I hope Germany can go a long way, hopefully to final… =) Not many people will like this idea, I suppose… hehe…
But the people here are so excited about their national team (well, who don’t, anyway), so I’m giving them my full support…

Besides Germany, I’ll support Brazil (cause the way they play looks beautiful to me, and Brazil is my Dad’s favourite team too =P), and Italy (subject to change, though).

In TV, it’s football everyday everytime. The media are worried; there are rumours that Ballack is not fit, minor calf injury. Schweinsteiger, Lehmann, and Podolski were in press conference today, expressing how they feel ready for the games. Last night Kanzlerin Merkel visited the national team, expressed her support, and had dinner together with the team. Tomorrow Klinsmann will be in the press conference, just a day before the games start. And England is holding its breath, wondering whether Rooney will play or not in the world cup, or at least at some latter matches… the decision will be taken at the latest on Friday 14.00.

You see… too much watching news on TV!!

So, tell me, what's your favourite team(s) and what's your world cup story? =)

:(
Oh, let’s stop whining and just finish this sh*ttt!!!

Abis nonton Love Actually nih. One of my all-time favorite films. :P
Some dialogues are in Portuguese. Here is a link to the English film script.
Some of my favourite roles in the movie are: Jamie, Karl, and Natalie.

:P

Whew...
A law I discovered about thesis writing:

"Every supervisor sucks,
and will remain so until the end of final presentation."

Anyone will argue with that?

A short notice

So, tau sih udah basi banget.
Tapi masih utang nih buat nulis cerita tentang perjalanan ke Itali lebih dari setahun yang lalu (haa? Udah setahun yang lalu??) time goes by so fast…

Our Italy trip started in Milan, then Florence, then Rome, and ended in Venice. Novi has written the story of Milan and Florence, so I guess it’s my turn now to write the story of Rome and Venice. Hope I still can remember the important details :)

No pictures yet. I'll do that later maybe.

Just a thought... just a thought...
been reading this blog written by a good friend of mine in Singapore, met her during my internship in LU. Seems that living in Singapore is very stressful... people are competing with each other, must work as hard as possible... If you don't work hard enough, you'll fail, you're a loser. Something I don't really experience here in Germany, competition is relatively low, changes are slow. Does that represent the living (and working) condition in Asia in general? Don't know, not sure...

Honestly, to me, you are almost perfect.
And I pray tonight, that if someday, somehow, I have the chance of finding my soulmate, I wish that he is as kind hearted, as nice, and as sweet as you are. Farewell my dear friend.

Thanks so much Raymond. Thanks so much for going to the station with me… I don’t know how it would have been without you. You’re my hero tonight…

Perasaan hari ini: wretched.
Reasons: plenty and a mix of everything.
Possible explanations:
- Two close friends are leaving in a week, one used to have an important position in my life.
- My heart is aching, and I don’t know why and what for.
- Feeling lonely, got no one to talk with.
Current state: sakit kepala, anti sosial.
Recent activities: sleeping, listening to mp3, thinking of my family and friends.
Present wishes: coffee. And being happy.
Short-term plan: should I continue sleeping, or should I push myself to work for 1-2 hours?

The Road goes ever on

Counting my days.
It’s a mixture of feelings; excited, happy, sad, and scared.
But it’s a classical problem. Everybody has been or will go through that. So, there’s no point of exaggerating it neither of complaining about it.

Looking back at how my life turned out to be after I finished my Bachelor, I have to say everything happened quite unexpectedly. There are some ‘what-ifs’ and ‘if-onlys’ still hanging on my mind. But I will put them aside; will try not to think about them.

Yeah, I guess I’m scared.
Generally speaking, people don’t like changes.

But I will try to stay focus on the brighter side.
I guess, this is just another part of life I have to go through.
Positive thinking, positive thinking, positive thinking.
And have faith.


The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
Let others follow it who can!
Let them a journey new begin,
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.

Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate,
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.

The Road goes ever on – J.R.R. Tolkien
(The Fellowship of the Ring)

Bourne Supremacy

Just finished watching Bourne Supremacy. Like the film. Generally, I love movies about spies and secret agents, doing secret missions. :P

The movie is based on a novel written by Robert Ludlum, and it’s a sequel of the previous movie, Bourne Identity, which is also based on a novel written by the same author. The leading actor is Matt Damon (=P~)

In the movie, about half of the story took place in Berlin. It’s a nice feeling to realize that I recognize some places there (e.g. Sony Centre) and understand the language (Polizei!! Stehen bleiben!! Lucu deh kedengerannya… hehehe…). It is also cute to hear Matt Damon speaking German. You know, that’s how spies in the movie always are. No matter in which part of the world they set their foot on, they happen to speak the local language very fluently. :D

Well, overall, the movie is worth watching for. I would recommend this movie, Bourne Identity, and Spy Game. Mission Impossible was quite nice too, but in my opinion, it is a little bit too Hollywood. Bond movies, hmm, too much women involvement…

Anyways, enough blogging and talking about films. Now, I should get back to work! :)

From Paulo Coelho's blog

Got this one from Paulo Coelho's Warrior of the light online.

From a mother to her daughter
In the whole wide world there is no-one like me. I am the owner of my body, my thoughts, my ideas. The images that my eyes contemplate belong to me and I need to know how to choose them. I possess my own fantasies, my dreams, hopes and fears. Since I am owner of myself, I have to know myself intimately. There are aspects of myself that confound me, others that I do not know. But whether or not you agree with all that I am, this is authentic, this represents the moment that I am living.

A night in spring

Tadi malem aku pulang jalan dari rumah Fair. Senangnya dah ga terlalu dingin, jadinya bisa jalan-jalan dengan nyaman. Terus setelah dah di Niemannstrasse, baru menyadari kalo malam ini langit bagus banget, cerah. Bulan sabit, dan ada banyak bintang.

Decided to walk a little bit further, sampai ujung jalan. Di sana, ada spot yang ga ada bangunan, jadinya bisa liat langit jelas banget. Wah bagus banget, jadi teringat dua hal.

Pertama teringat Olin. Olin… if you read this, just want you to know that I know now the shape of the crescent moon in this part of the world. It’s facing north-west. I’m sure you know that already ;) you’re the one who told me that the shape of crescent moon is different in different parts of the world. How is it there where you are right now? Miss you…

Kedua, teringat Fievel. Di film ini, dia nyanyi sambil mandang langit di waktu malam gitu... :D Terlalu melankolis ya, maap… :“>

A cosy saturday evening

I had a very cosy Saturday evening.
Spent time at my huni’s huni’s place. (I guess that term is not grammatically correct :p)
Talked a about a travel guide book I just bought.
Listened to Avril Lavigne, over and over.
Had my writing reviewed and corrected.
Had toast for dinner and rice+broccoli+chicken wings for supper (:-o)
Watched Ocean’s Twelve together, got confused a little, but continued watching.
Drank tee, and then more tee, and then coffee.
Heard the sound “smooch smooch” a lot of times, but not bothered at all. (:D)
Had pillow talk with her. Haven’t done that with anyone for a long time.
Fell asleep feeling peaceful, knowing that I am not alone, that everything is going to be alright.

Yes, it was a great evening. Felt like I was home.
Thanks to you, and your huni.

nonton "Gie"

uhm... sudah nonton Gie?
waduuhh... Nicholas Saputra disitu...
ganteng bangettttt!!!!

:x :x :x

P.S
kesan tentang filmnya, emm, jadi kepengen baca bukunya, soalnya kemaren ga gitu mudeng ama detil2 ceritanya...
ehhmm... was too busy staring at the actor, perhaps?? :">

...

...
I'm just an ordinary girl...
Wishing hard that someday dreams and reality could meet...
...

Somewhere out there

Let’s sing together with Fievel and Tanya Mousekewitz… :)

Fv: Somewhere out there,
beneath the pale moonlight,
someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight.

Ty: Somewhere out there,
someone's saying a prayer,
that we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there.

(*)Ty: And even though I know how very far apart we are,
it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star.

Fv: And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby,
it helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky.

Together: Somewhere out there,
if love can see us through,
then we'll be together, somewhere out there,
out where dreams come true.

Character key:Fv = Fievel, Ty = Tanya

- Somewhere Out There - An American Tail

My Dad called

Today, early in the morning, my Dad called. He hardly called me, so I was quite surprised. Asked me how I was doing and whether everything is okay. And then asked me how are things with my special friend. Told him what happened, the decision I’ve taken. And then, he started talking about Kak Netta, and how she has changed so much now, becoming much more religious and closer with God.

And then, he told me not to think too much about what had happened, what important now is to pursue my dreams, when the time’s right then the right person will come, and some other words of wisdom.

Miss him so so much.

I always believe that my Dad is extraordinarily smart. But because he is very down to earth, people may not realize that at first. He always knows the answers of all questions. Can be very moderate and flexible, but sometimes can be very strict to what he believes is right and can take decisions very promptly. I can talk about anything with him; books, footballs, films, songs, politics, he has interests in lots of things. He can be surprisingly melancholic and sensitive, but when needed he really shows his manly side…

And he loves his family very much; my Mom, Kak Netta, and me. He has sacrificed a lot for Kak Netta and me, tried to give the best for both us; in terms of education, protection, opportunities, love, and life. I really wish I can make him and Mom happy, in any way possible…

Thinking about him can cause few teardrops fall from my eyes.
I love you Dad, I love you Mom… :*

The Moldau

Kemarin malam, aku dapet lagu ini dari Antoni:

The Moldau composed by Bedřich Smetana

According to Antoni, it's an old orchestra from the 19th century, and was later used in the Hollywood animation movie: "An American Tail".
Really interesting. Before, the only song I knew from the movie is only James Ingram's "Somewhere Out There". Now I am more than eager to see the movie again...

Here's a short description about the orchestra, taken from here:

The composition depicts the course of the river , beginning from its two small sources, one cold the other warm, the joining of both streams into one, then the flow of the Moldau through forests and across meadows, through the countryside where merry feasts are celebrated; water nymphs dance in the moonlight; on nearby rocks can be seen the outline of ruined castles, proudly soaring into the skies. The Mouldau swirls through the St. John Rapids and flows in a broad stream towards Prague. It passes Vysehrad [ where an ancient royal castle once stood ] , and finally the river disappears in the distance as it flows majestically into the Elbe.

Very romantic :)

Bitter

Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006 02:44:56 -0800 (PST)
From: nyiw@email.com
Subject: bitter
To: huni@email.de

Hi hun,

The bitterness will end. Soon, I hope.
But for now, let me spit it out, okay.
Love you,

Tuesday, 28.02.2006

Just like the last previous days, today everything seems so wrong. Gamze is sick for a week, which left me with less pressure at work. I am having my PMS. Called Novi, and realized that I couldn’t really talk to her. Which one is better? A friend that talk and talk about things that you probably had enough with and you don’t want to listen to, or a friend that don’t say a word about those same things. Although you know well that she’s thinking of something, that she’s having that opinions and judgements in her head, but still thinks it’ better not to speak them out loud to your face?

Well, the second situation happened with me and her this morning. I started by saying: “I had dinner at Raymond’s place yesterday.” Or, “Oh, poor Antoni, he had to sleep in the kitchen.” And then continue with: “I’ll have lunch with Pipit today at Mensa.”

Oh! Does that all really matter?

When what really in my head are: “Did you see his posting in his blog?” “Do you think he hates me?” “Do you think I’m a terrible and mean person?” “How do you see me now?” “Does Fair hate me?” “Do both of you think I’m weird?”

But then again, do I really need to know the answers from those questions? Does it matter to me whether Fair hates me or not? Should I be bothered if both of you think I’m weird or not? Is it of any importance to me whether you see me as a terrible person or not?

Things had happened. And decisions have been taken. What are left are the consequences. And I should be prepared for everything. As long as I’m sure that I’m doing what I thought was right, then that’s it.

I tried to concentrate myself on my work. I couldn’t. I played 2 rounds of Hearts in the computer (I told you this). I bought coffee from the machine downstairs, to get more caffeine in my system. I don’t understand why, the coffee tastes really suck today. Drank few sips and threw the rest into the sink. Went to Sendil’s office, perhaps a small chat can boost my mood. Unfortunately, he’s not there. Ah, off course he’s not there. He’s busy with his work in the lab. Aren’t I supposed to be like him? Busy with my work???

Hun, I guess I will try to tell you what I’m feeling. Sad, relieved?? No… not quite right anymore…
I feel like… my world is moving fast around me, swirling, revolving… rapidly, abruptly…
And I’m pulled inside, confused, lost, and tired.
Nowhere to hold on to…

Singing mode: The dream within

another nice song to sing... :)

Free
The dream within
The stars are crying a tear
A sigh
Escapes from heaven
And worlds end
Breathe
The dream within
The mystifying

We tremble and spin
Suspended within
Look beyond
Where hearts can see
Dream in peace
Trust the belief
We tremble and spin
Suspended within

Free
The dream within
The voice is calling a song
A prayer
From deep inside you
To guide you
Be
The dream within
The light is shining

A flight on the wind
Salvation begins

Look beyond
Where hearts can see
Dream in peace
Trust the belief

We tremble and spin
Suspended within

Free
The dream within
The stars are crying
A tear
A sigh
Escapes from heaven
And worlds end

The Dream Within - Lara Fabian

singing: Reflection

A truly nice song...

Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you’ll never know me
Every day, is as if I play a part
Now I see if I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I can not fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?

I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart
and what I believe in
But somehow I will show the world what’s inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don’t know?
Must I pretend that I’m someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
There’s a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why

Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I’m forced to hide?
I won’t pretend that i’m someone else for all time
When will my reflections show who I am inside?
When will my reflections show who I am inside?

Reflection - Christina Aguilera

Experiments vs simulations

The work in my thesis focuses mainly in making models and simulations. So most of the time, I have to sit in front of my computer, running the simulations and reading the literatures. Sometimes it can be interesting (cause I like my topic), but sometimes it is deadly boring.

Starting two days ago, I have to do some experiments to support my thesis. The experiment has been really tiring. I have to stay the whole day in Technikum, and pay attention totally to the system and hardly have time even to go to the toilette or to get a drink.

Strange, but I like it. I feel more energetic and excited. I guess different people have different feelings toward this. Cause my supervisor looks a bit stressed and not in a good mood the whole day. And she is amazed when I told her that I prefer this kind of work than sitting on my desk the whole day.

I think this is something I should consider when I look for a job. I trust the results of my experiments much better than those of my simulations.
Another thing that I realize today: working with my supervisor needs a lot of patience, patience, and patience…
So, you know what? Let’s finish this entire thesis thing as soon as possible!!!

2006

First day in 2006. Half past four in the afternoon.
Think a little bit about everything.

I will not give up. I will not surrender. I will not be lazy anymore. I’ll try, to be more organized. I’ll try to reach out for my dreams.

I have to be sure, that my dreams can and will come true. But keep in mind, miracles don’t happen. Good things are the results of my consistent and persistent hard work.

Just never give up.
Never be afraid.
Don’t surrender.