Jadi teringat sesuatu yang kita sepakati bersama waktu di school, one weekend in a small restaurant in Newark.

In this company, at any given time, everybody is very close to quitting the job.

Guys, we were right.
Well, maybe I'm not in a good mood that's all.

It's gonna pay-off. Someday it's gonna pay-off. Someday it's gonna pay-off.
In whichever form it may take.

Let's say that over and over and over today.

Geez, I think I really need to have someone to talk to, and fast.
Cause I might end up littering this blog with very unimportant and daily rubish.
(Don't get me wrong, I do have some friends here, but it's just that... we're not that close yet)

It’s another boooooooooooooring day in the base. I mean, have you ever felt so bored that you feel like you want to cry? Well, I didn’t cry, but I really felt like to.
My mood became so horrible and I became so grumpy.

And my boss (probably due to coincidence) asked me how I am doing (Tudo tranquil?). Oh, it was like pouring a gasoline to a fire. I just said yeah, sure (because another engineer was there and mainly because we were talking in Portuguese and in Portuguese I cant speak too much). And then a few minutes later I rushed to his room discussing my situations.

We talked quite long. Actually nothing new there, he was just telling me that it’s alright, it’s normal… this is a location with low activity, few jobs but big money, etc etc. Be patient… you can do this and this… etc etc…

Hmm, on the other hand, I don’t know what people think about me making this move. Because they looked at me differently after I finished talking with my boss. Did I take too much time talking? Hmm… cause I don’t really understand the culture of people here…
The last thing I wanna do is showing off or kissing somebody’s (especially boss’) ass.
Nevermind, I just don’t care.

Banyak banyak banyak yang mo diceritain…

Well, pertama2, I’m still at the base. Stuck. Low activity. Offshore, only a very limited number of people is allowed on the platform. Woman, accommodation limitations. Bla bla bla. In terms of job, it’s been pretty boring.

In terms of love life, yeah, also boring. Got in touch once or twice with this oh-so-not-important guy I met in school. The reality hit me again (for the n-th time) that the kind of guy I’m looking for most probably live on the other side of the planet, which made me end up questioning myself: ‘then what the #$%& am I doing here?’

Perhaps I mentioned it before somewhere in my older posts, or maybe I didn’t…well, anyway…
(I am writing this while thinking about all the crazy things I did…)
I often feel that this job is forcing me to do things I fear and I dislike the most… to be comfortable speaking in public, to be a leader, to have very good social skill, to speak up and stand up for myself, to feel OK to be different, to jump to the sea and swim 100 meters to a lifeboat for the sake of a certificate called Basic Survival Training, not to bother when I am left out sometimes…

I hope and I pray that, the end of this (whenever and however that may be) will be a happy ending.

A very good book. Moving and very touchy.
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
Not many books can really make me cry when I read them.
This book is one of the exceptions.

The clock is ticking, so fast.
Where am I going?
I wish I know.

Going to be 28 this year.
I have a lot of wishes in the New Year.
Among others: Faith, love, happiness, health, and success.
For me and for everybody I know.

Dissappointed, but what for?
There’s nothing that I can do about it anyway, isnt it?
It's for the best. Yeah, for sure.
I know I should stop complaining, here and now.
Should see life from a different point of view and be grateful.
But just that, I wish, if only, there’s a little light out there, just a little maybe… a reason so I can feel easier and smile cheerfully again.