Hari ini sedang merasa hampa.

Sebenernya merasa begini wajar ga ya? Dan ngga ngerti juga kenapa aku merasa begini. Apa karena aku sendirian di sini dan jauh dari siapa-siapa? Apa karena kadang-kadang my existence di kota kecil di pelosok Brasil ini terasa begitu membingungkan?

Btw, my boss from Macae called on Monday and he told me the plan he and his boss have for me. I am going back to Macae.

I am going back to Macae in 6 months. I’ll be staying in Sao Mateus until my visa is expired. Then I’ll go somewhere and work there for 3-4 months. During this time, I should take my one-month vacation (they have decided that also). Then, when my visa is ready, I should return to Macae. And this visa should allow me to stay for another 2 years.

Is this good news? I don’t know. What is good or bad news anyway? Di antara begitu banyak kemungkinan tentang apa yang bakal terjadi seputar visa issue ini, aku pikir kemungkinan terbesar adalah ditransfer permanently ke negara lain di Amerika Latin, seperti yang terjadi sama Ian (kasus visa dia sama ama aku). Good things about going back to Macae: Bahasa masih sama, udah tau keadaan Macae, dan at least orang di Macae percaya aku bisa kerja, sehingga mereka mau nunggu beberapa bulan sampe aku bisa balik. Bad things: so it seems that in the end I shall experience going offshore anyway, it’s not getting any nearer from home, and how about the target of finding someone to get married with?

Membingungkan.

I wish there is a sign; a clue; or at least that I can feel certain what to do next.