A sad summer

There... I said it...
Aku udah nyakitin orang yang paling aku sayang dan sayang aku...
Aku tahu, semuanya ga bakalan bisa balik lagi seperti dulu.
There's no turning back.

Echa, you are my first love. Forever you will be my first love. Sekali lagi aku minta maaf...
My life feels so miserable. Tapi, aku ga mau mengeluh, aku udah berprinsip bahwa kalo aku mengeluh lagi, berarti aku ga bersyukur atas semua yang aku punya. Dan aku ga bisa menangis. Air mataku kering setelah kemarin. I feel so numb.

I walk along the Harburger Ring strasse... The sun is shining, it is burning my head, burning my heart. I can't feel anything... The buildings are nameless, meaningless... All these people... they are all faceless... I feel so remote... What if I just faint... right here, right now...

I picture him standing there... Just around the corner... What will I do if he's really here? Will I run to him and cried all my troubles out? Or will I get scared and run away?
I was so sure about everything. I was so sure about my decision.
Thank God, now, I am still sure with it.
But, I can't explain why, all those moments I've shared together with Echa are coming back to me... Like a documentary film, I see it so clearly in my head...

I realize one thing. I learn one thing. What we had was so wonderful, echa. It was fantastic, beautiful, and amazing... You are... my hero, my bestest friend, my saviour...
I can never be thankful enough...

Maafin aku, cha... maafin aku...