6 pm

Sitting alone at the corner of a busy district. Drinking my coffee. So there it goes. Tomorrow will be my last day in London. Thursday I’m going to fly back to Brazil, facing the reality, living my life, living my work.

Booked a bed at a hostel in Rio for Thursday and Friday. Would like to take a tour of the city on Friday, and then take the van back to Macae on Saturday. The place where I live, where I work. Gotta accept that fact. Improve my Portuguese, for my own sake. To make life easier.

It’s been quite an extraordinary week.
Performed below expectations in my final project. But yet got the 2nd place in my class in the final result.
Had a constant and tiring fight with one of my group member.
Got criticized and yet praised by my instructor during the exit interview and appraisal.
Had a really really great time with my classmates.

Cried when it’s time to say good bye to a very nice friend.
That’s the furthest I can go in expressing my feelings. Words are no longer important.
I hope you understood.

But I’m letting things go. Thanks to an Indonesian friend that accompanied me walking around London for two and half days, I didn’t have enough time and energy to feel sad the whole time.

You made me want to become a better person. Who knows what is going to happen in my life next. Life can be very unpredictable. Most probably I won’t see you again, and that’s fine for me. I miss you a lot now, but I know that I’ll move on eventually. I know I’ll be okay.

8.30 pm

Signing in to my hotmail account cause I need to send an email to this hostel in Rio. Surprised to see there’s an email from him, saying he’s thinking of changing his flight and coming back early to London and spend more days here before going back to his home country. He asked me how he can contact me so we can meet up. This email was sent a day after he left London.

Why? Is Barcelona not good enough for you? Do you hate traveling alone that much?

My heart jumped at the thought that I might see him again. But wait, I replied the email too late. Where’s he now? Did he decide to stay or to come back here? And even if he came, we only have time to meet tomorrow for a couple of hours before I have to go to the airport to catch my flight. Oh no, if only my flight is on Friday instead of Thursday…

Wait a minute! This is all his fault. Why should he change his mind at the last moment? Why didn’t he ask for my number earlier on?
Geez, I hate what he’s doing to me.

The next day, which is today…

When I woke up in the morning, my feeling was telling me: No, you’re not gonna meet him again today. The email doesn’t mean anything. Just forget it.

Nevertheless, I stopped by internet cafes several times today (even though the major purpose was to send emails to people at my locations). Check my mobile many many times.
And no signs of him.
Cheeky b*st#&d.